I’ve decided to become a Knight Errant.

To do so I must become well versed in the arts of Chivalry, pick up my lance, and ride my faithful steed off into the wilderness where I shall seek high adventure among the hills and vales righting wrongs, protecting the innocent, and performing such deeds of nobility and renown that my name will forevermore be hailed as a symbol of honesty and valor, a shining beacon in this dark and wicked world.

Come! Come, my stalwart squire as we seek high adventure. Follow after, and avail yourself of my undaunted courage to carry you through the most dreadful and perilous perils that ever befell a mortal soul.

Come! Ride on in search of four-armed giants or other adventures. And let us call upon our valiant Lady to succor us in our time of need. I shall prepare a most wonderful balm that – if you can stomach it – will cure all ills and wounds and even attach severed limbs. Thus twice protected we shall vanquish all our foes and our fame shall spread throughout the world.

I shall take a title for myself, such as The Knight of the Mournful Look, or some other that suits my fancy and will allow all who hear of me to marvel at my prowess.

I suppose I shall have to learn how to ride a horse. I don’t recall any knights riding around in a minivan. Although a more modern transportation would allow me to cover more ground in a shorter period of time. I’m allergic to horses, though, so I’ll have to stock up on medication. But knights errant were always beset by problems and so I shall not fail in my resolve to carry this burden.

Does anyone know where I can get a horse?

I shall have to consult the histories of knights errant some more but I don’t recall any passages that deal with knights acquiring transportation. They either inherit their horses or win them in battle. Perhaps they are a gift from a king or other noble into whose service the knight presents himself.

So continue I shall to study that worthy knight from Spain, the Knight of the Rueful Countenance, The peerless Don Quixote de La Mancha, as recounted in that faithful history by Miguel Cervantes. Indeed, it must certainly be a true and faithful history, for Cervantes tells us so numerous times throughout the novel.

I don’t recall knights errant listening to audio books, either. But since there isn’t anything to the contrary in any of the histories, I shall continue to do so until such time as I can be proved to be in error.